Encouraging creativity in children and adults

Life is Good: it's all about encouragement and exploration

Sunday night, Grant asked me what "big plans" I had in store for the little boys this week. My eyes twinkled as I said, "It's 'Great Artists Week' at Casa de How to be Pleasant!"

It is no secret that while I am a writer by trade, art is my true love. As a kid, I was always drawing. I can't remember a time when I wasn't. Early on, adults would ask what I "wanted to be" when I grew up and my answer was always "an artist". Until the first grade, that is... when a crotchety, old teacher (she seemed like a thousand years old...she was probably fifty) told me that "an artist" wasn't a real job, but I could be an art teacher. You've heard of people having the "wind taken out of their sails"? Well, I remember feeling like all of the color had been erased from the world. I didn't want to be an art teacher. I wanted to be an artist. But it wasn't a real thing. So I accepted it, with big gulps of disappointment. For a few years after that, when someone would ask that age old question, I would answer "art teacher" and do my best to disguise my grimace.

Growing up, my friends and others would often call me "the creative" or "the artistic one" of my group of friends. I remember shrugging that off. I felt offended by it. I now equated "creative" and "artistic" with something flimsy, silly, unreal. I wanted to be considered smart. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to be real. I had been told that being an artist meant otherwise. I was so impressionable. So sensitive. And the words soaked in to my depth. And this teacher who influenced me so wasn't even my primary teacher. I barely knew her. She barely knew me. And yet, I carried that notion--that an artist wasn't a real job-- with me throughout my formative years.

I went to college with the intention to study advertising. Maybe I could write print ads and doodle some visual ideas. Gratefully, some students on one of my projects told a professor that I was "really creative" and he took me into his office one day after class to talk about the "creative side" of the field. He told me about a graduate program that emphasized advertising's creative arts--copywriting, art direction, graphic design, illustration, photography. His words spoke to my heart like a song that had been written just for me. I would study copywriting and eventually, conceptualize, write, and help produce TV spots for some of America's biggest brands. My job is a blend of the two sides of the brain--pairing creativity with strategy. Being "creative" and "artistic". It is a real job.

When I was 22 or 23, I heard about a book from one of my instructors called The Artist's Way. It was said to be beloved by artists and creative people as a way to "unlock" creativity, "unblock" your creative obstructions, and give you new ideas. It was full of tasks to do just such. I quickly bought the book and chose an exercise. I don't remember the exact words, but it centered around remembering the first creative roadblock or your first censor. I went right back to the first grade and that black-haired teacher. I wrote and wrote. And then I started sketching. To say I had a "burst of creativity" would be wrong. It was more like a fireball. I ran to the art store, I stayed up all night. And three days later, I had 27 pieces of artwork lining my apartment walls. The first piece? A folk art slash cubism-inspired piece with a black-haired teacher in front of a chalkboard.

Surprisingly, I didn't just have all of this artwork, but I had a need to share it, too. I made a couple of calls to galleries that I liked in Atlanta and asked to show my work. Their was no question in my mind of whether it was good or good enough. It was as if the art had taken control. My heart had taken control. The first gallery that I went to took all of my pieces. Within the first three days, they had sold three paintings. I say this in the most humble of ways. This is not a story about the accomplishment. This is not a story intended to impress anyone for praise or applause. I tell this story because to me, this is an exquisite example of confidence-building. We all have the ability to build up confidence (in ourselves and in others) and we have the capability of defeating confidence (in ourselves and in others). This is a story about both. Fortunately, the right side won. Figuratively and literally.

Now I don't think that teacher way back when intended to break my creative spirit or diminish my confidence as an artist. I know she didn't. Because I don't think she thought enough about the statement she made to me to be that intentional. It was an off-the-cuff remark. She probably didn't remember it five minutes later. She had no idea how impressionable and sensitive I was. I harbor no ill feelings towards her. I also think that teachers are far more intentional about their words now. And I think that creativity is more cherished and art is more honored. At least by some.

We take our own experiences and we make of them what we will. We let them tear us down or we rise above them. It felt really good when that teacher in front of the chalkboard painting sold. For me, art education and giving both children and adults great art experiences has become a quest. Pumping them up with confidence about their own individual creativity (we all have it, we just use it in different ways!) and encouraging everyone to explore and experiment with art materials and creative ideas has become very important to me. I don't want anyone else to be stifled because of a stupid dumb careless remark. I don't want anyone else to experience creative roadblocks or ignore what's in their own hearts because of fear or lack of confidence or others' opinions. I am sure that there are adults out in the world who were told art wasn't real or worse---that because their work wasn't an exact copy of something else, that they are not artistic or creative.

I also think that championing experimentation of anything builds confidence and even though that experiment may end, the confidence carries on. I see this with my own children. Since they were old enough to hold a crayon, we have been enjoying art together. We read books about the great masters like Renoir and Cezanne, we go to art museums, we notice colors and textures everywhere we go.

And we do age appropriate art projects. Not crafts. Crafts are great and step-by-step crafting is great, too, for their own reasons (like fine motor skills development) but it is not art. Both of my children feel very comfortable with art materials and jump at the chance to try out new materials or attempt a new style of art project. It is the same with music--they are eager to sing aloud and "perform" or try out instruments. It's all because it has been a part of their environment and vernacular since they can remember. And their attempts and results are always accompanied by a lot of praise and that translates into positive reinforcement of the practice, of the effort. Yes, I might say their drawing is pretty or neat-looking, but more importantly, I emphasize that I like the experimentation, that they tried something new or I love that they used a lot of red this time or that they mixed two colors together to see what might happen. The praise surrounds the experience more than the result, the process more than the product. And therefore, this confidence built in art or music translates into other things...sports, reading, jungle-gym climbing, wherever they take it.

As for The Artist's Way, I only did that first exercise. It was all I needed and I am grateful for the breakthrough. Maybe some day I will pick up another copy and do the exercises with the little boys. In the meanwhile, stay tuned for pics and projects from "Great Artists Week". We're having a lot of fun with the process!

Shoes for Two Year Olds

Life is good: we all have our own shoes to wear and they fit just right!

My dear child,
I know that over the past several weeks, you have developed a great love for wearing the shoes of everyone in our family. And I enjoy watching you clomp around the house, smiling and giggling. It must feel very strange and silly to have those very big shoes hanging off of your tiny, little feet.

As I was watching you stomp, clomp, and boom around the living room today--in sheer delight, mind you--a thought came to my mind and I felt compelled to share it with you.

It is perfectly okay with me if you want to keep trying on daddy's, mommy's, and big brother's shoes. Trying on is just fine. But it is my ardent goal that as you grow, you will only try to fill the shoes of one person--you.

Daddy loves sports and I love art. Our house is filled with music. I hope you, at least, develop an appreciation for these things and the other things that interest us--books and travel and nature. And I pray that you are influenced by your parents' belief that education and preparation are important, that faith gets you through the tough times and makes the good times even better, that loyalty, honesty, and generosity are building blocks for a happy life.

It appears that you have inherited my enthusiasm and your daddy's persistence. I pray that both of these things will serve you as a strength. We will do our best to help you prevent them from being weaknesses. You are like your brother in many ways. And why wouldn't you be? You have the same DNA. I hope that your similarities will bond you further and make you enjoy time spent with each other. That you two will be good friends, not just siblings. That you will like each other as well as love each other. With all of this said, I don't want you to ever try to "fill our shoes", replicate, or copy us or anyone, for that matter. I want you to be you. I believe that God created you in a very intentional way. I believe he has a great plan and purpose for you--for each of us-- and I often pray that God will grant me what I need as your parent to encourage, emphasize, and empower you to be the person He intended you to be.

This means that while I would love for you to beg for art classes and daddy would be thrilled if you asked to practice shooting hoops and I am sure that your brother would like for you to do all of the things that he loves to do, I want for you to pursue what interests you. And I will do my best to be your head cheerleader, biggest fan, and ardent supporter. Karate, karaoke, juggling or judo. Piano or tuba, knitting or hackysack. (Oh, please not hockey or football or race car driving and other things that make for easy concussions!) Horseback riding, lacrosse, soccer, toothpick model making or cup stacking. French, Spanish, Portugese, or Chinese. World record breaking, basket weaving, geocaching, scuba diving, book making (as in notebooks not betting, please!). If it is your passion or you think it might be your passion, your daddy, brother and I will be there yelling the loudest (or whispering if it is chess club).

Ever since I even guessed that I might be pregnant with you, I have been wondering and dreaming and guessing about what you would be like. It has been a great joy to watch you grow and your character develop. The past six months have been especially wonderful as you have shown yourself to be so full of personality, spunk, and humor. I will never get tired of hearing you sing songs or giggle what could quite possibly be one of the two greatest sounds in the world (the other being your big brother's laugh). I love that you are the first to say, "Hi!" to any little person within ear shot and most other people, too. Your observation skills baffle me. You are joy-filled even when in need of a nap.

So I continue to salivate at the idea of your personality unfolding more. It is such a pedestrian phrase..."there is no one in this world exactly like you". And yet, it is such a profound statement if you truly ponder it. You are the only you in this entire world and I want for you to embrace that. Let it empower you. Let it guide you. Your family will be alongside to help you navigate. But we'll each wear our own pair of shoes. Just right for each one of us.

I'm Proud to be an American

Life is Good: this weekend, we're having fourth of July fun!

When my mom was pregnant with me, my due date was the fourth of July. And I was a week late. Sometimes I think the reason why I am always multi-tasking and busy busy busy is because I've been trying to make up for that week ever since! Either way, being a July baby, I am very patriotic and love celebrating Independence Day. I love being an American. I am grateful I was born in a country where I can worship my chosen God and religion in any church that I choose or anywhere else, that I can voice my thoughts and opinions without fear of persecution or imprisonment, and that I can go wherever I want, wear whatever I want, get the education I want, have the job that I want*, and so much more. It is also my hope that one day all people in the world will have those same freedoms and opportunities.

We had a very eventful fourth of July! We started out by attending a local Fourth of July parade with some good friends. We made "collage-style" flags the day before and decorated our wagon (and ourselves) for the walk over to the parade line.

The parade was full of fun and funny floats and entrants.

I was especially moved by the cars and jeeps that drove some veterans through the parade.

There were also some vets who walked the parade length.

I was brought to tears as I watched a man who had to be in his late 70s or early 80s in full sailor's whites walk the parade route. I wish I had a picture, but I was too busy clapping the hardest clap I have ever...that's right, clapped.

My respect for veterans is not a reflection of my opinion of past or current US politics or past wars or the concept of war in general. Instead, it is about people. People who heard a call, either from their heart or from a letter, and reported for duty to their country. People like my Grandma's brother, Bob. They left their jobs and families, put dreams on hold, and did what they were told in the name of "freedom". Sometimes it was about protecting US freedoms and sometimes it was in an effort to either keep others' freedoms in tact or to establish freedoms for people who didn't have it. Again, this is not a commentary about politics, but about people who were generous with everything they had---their lives. Which meant their safety and their aspirations and everything in between. From my heart, I give my deepest gratitude to all veterans past and present.

We are fortunate to have good friends who feel like family here in Minneapolis. After the parade, we went over to their house for a barbeque complete with sprinkler, kiddy pool, and...wait for it...yes, a bouncy house. The kiddos were in heaven!

Our friends asked everyone to bring a covered dish, so I made red-white-and-blue fruit skewers that I found here. I just made mine red, white, and blue, though and skipped the flag design. I also made a simple veggie-legume salad since we were going to the parade. It's simple and fresh tasting.

Susie's Simple Summer Salad
Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups black beans, soaked and cooked (or you could use one can of black beans)
2 1/2 cups corn cut off of the cob (or you could use one can of corn)
3 medium-sized tomatoes (red and ripe, I used "on the vine" tomatoes)
1 green tomato (or yellow, just to switch up the color and the flavor)
1/2 cup minced fresh basil (you can always add more than that or you could use dried)
2 avocados, cut into chunks (make sure it isn't too ripe because it will get mushy easily in the salad)
1 heaping tablespoon Vinaigrette (I used Brianna's Real French Vinaigrette)

Directions:
Mix all ingredients together gently except for the avocados. Add avocados right before serving.  Be aware that the longer this sits, the more juice the tomatoes will lose to the bottom of your serving bowl.

I usually serve this as is, but you can also serve it with tortilla chips. 

We came home from the parade and party a little bit pooped. Our plan was to let the kids nap a bit and then bike over to the lake we live by and listen to a Caribbean band playing at the bandshell. We figured we could see the fireworks without dealing with the noise. Our kiddos have sensitive ears and aren't big fans of loud cracks and pops. I made a yummy dessert to take along:

This, too, is super simple. Top half of a biscuit (homemade or store-bought) with creme fraiche (I have also used marscapone cheese and it was delish!). Add berries (I used blueberries and strawberries to keep with the Independence Day R-W-B theme) and finish it off with my super simple, yummy, grown-up tasting berry sauce.

Susie's Simple Berry Sauce
Ingredients:
1/2 cup strawberry preserves (any brand, any flavor that matches the berries, I prefer no sugar added)
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar (my fave brand is Fini--it has hints of dark cherry. my mouth is watering just thinking about it!)
Directions:
Heat both ingredients in a saucepan until blended. Be careful not to scorch. You could substitute the vinegar with red wine if you need to.

When I have time, I make a simple syrup out of berries (or other fruit) instead of using the preserves.

The last time I made this dessert, I used mini tarts that I had made out of (homemade) eggless sugar cookie dough and topped them with mascarpone cheese plus the berries and sauce. It made it a little less casual looking and a little more grown up tasting, but both versions are delightful and EASY!

While the city started celebrating with fireworks, we had some fireworks of our own at our house. The big kid told me that he was "seeing sparks" like a "sprinkler of lights". After some Q & A, Grant started bedtime proceedings with the little one and the big kid and I headed to the Children's Hospital Emergency Room. They were really busy and while we sat in a room waiting to see a doctor, I prayed that the "sparks" were caused by dehydration (?) and not an ocular migraine, detached retina, brain or eye tumor or something equally awful that I hadn't thought of yet. To keep myself as calm on the inside as I tried to appear on the outside, I also prayed for all of the kids and families in the other rooms. It helped.

I cannot say enough about the doctors at Children's here in Minneapolis. They are unbelievably good at their jobs. That is an understatement. They saved our big kid's life when he was two due to their experience and proactive style. And they have nipped his croup in the bud many times because of their knowledge and expertise. This visit was no different. After extensive tests and monitoring, around midnight, the doc on call told us he thought it was safe for us to leave, but we would need to see a pediatric opthamalogist in the morning.

So instead of soaking up the sun on our friends' boat like we had planned (ahhhh), Friday morning, we visited the pediatric opthamologist instead. After a couple of hours of tests, the doctor said he was a bit dumbfounded. His guess is that the big kid had an ocular migraine due to either dehydration, low blood sugar, a bonk on the head in the bouncy house or a combination of all of them and it is his suspicion that this is a one-time only occurrence. Eye looks healthy, retina is attached, most likely a one-time thing...hip hip hooray!

After numerous sighs of reliefs and prayers of gratitude, we've decided to keep the rest of our weekend a bit more low key. Sidewalk chalk, bike rides, lego constructing, dance parties. Oh, and I painted my dining room during nap/quiet time. You know...to make up for that week extra I took in the womb. But no more sparks or fireworks for another year, please. And only the kind that shoot up into the air by qualified professionals, I beg!

*kind of. I am still waiting to be offered my own talk show...

Gummy Vitamins

Life is Good: my kids will never know!

I must confess...I just ate three of the big kid's gummy vitamins purely for the candy value.

It's days like this, when I cannot stop craving sugar, that I wish I had an emergency candy stash. Note to self: start working on a candy first aid kit.

Then again, if I did. There would most likely be an emergency every day. Scratch that off the list. Oh, I love marking things off of lists! Success!

It's alright to be little bitty!

Life is Good: it's Music Monday!

Yesterday, while I was in the middle of Iowa and getting intermittent reception on the radio, this little bitty song by Alan Jackson called "Little Bitty" grabbed my attention. It has a great line in the chorus..."might as well share, might as well smile...life goes on for a little bitty while." Click on the link and tap your toes! It's a great way to start the week, right?
We might as well share, smile, and be pleasant! 

GMOs and better eating habits

Life is good: let's share!

I have always tried to eat healthy foods, but since becoming a parent, it has become even more of a priority. I want to take care of my body so that I have a hundred years plus with my family! I also want to give my children a good foundation for making smart food choices. 

We found out our oldest had some major food allergies (eggs and peanuts were the first) when he was nine months old. This meant that I would start an adventure in eggless baking and cooking. It also meant that there would be no "convenience food" options for us since he is so sensitive to eggs that he cannot even eat a product manufactured in the same facility as eggs. This wasn't too big of a deal for me because I had always cooked from scratch anyway. What it does mean is that I have to be prepared. Eating somewhere at the spur of the moment is not an option. We take eggless cupcakes to parties and I bring food I've prepared from home when we eat at a restaurant or friends' houses because we can't risk cross contamination from someone else's kitchen. Our kids are used to it; it's all they have ever known. And I have learned not to be concerned about how others feel about this because I am just protecting my children. The allergies have made me start to pay more attention to where foods were grown and the strange words contained on the ingredients list of bottles of soy sauce and ice cream and mustard.

My friend, Brandy, is a designer with a son close to the same age as our big kid. She recently had an food epiphany, if you will, and we have had online chats about why food allergies are more prevalent and GMOs and "natural flavors"and canola oil, among other things.  I am someone who likes to share and I like to hear others' thoughts and opinions. Even if I don't agree or take their advice or whatever, I think it is important that we listen to each other, contemplate, and consider. So since I am such a "sharer", I asked Brandy if she would like to share her story of becoming more "pleasant" about the food that goes into her family's bodies. And she kindly obliged. Brandy, thanks for your guest post! (She shares a great video that explains what exactly GMOs are.) I guess this is where I am supposed to say something about "the following are not necessarily the views supported by How to be Pleasant Blog, etc.". ; ) 

Here's Brandy's story:
WHAT CAUSED MY FOOD TRANSFORMATION? by Brandy

What was IT that caused me to change how my family and I ate? That’s the question I get asked most from people who know me. Just a bit of background about me—I am inherently lazy with a tendency to have a bit of OCD. This means when I do something, I tend to go to extremes. I am a skeptic. I am a mom. I am a wife. I am a busy designer. What I am not—is a foodie. In fact, my husband and son have a common saying, “You’re not allowed in the kitchen.” The kitchen is my husband’s domain, except for when it needs to get cleaned. We used to eat out A LOT or have it delivered. So much so, that a food delivery company once gave us a gift certificate at Christmas because we ate out that much! Crazy, right?  

So back to my food transformation. 

Never one to put too much thought into what I ate, I lived a happy existence. And then IT happened. I came across this company that grew hydroponic lettuce—tried it—and loved that it stayed fresher longer and didn’t grow in dirt. By the way, did I mention I don’t like dirt? I started an account with the company and needed to spread the word to my friends so that I would qualify for free delivery. On one such day, I stopped off at a friend’s house to deliver her lettuce and we began to catch up. Then she asked me if I had heard about “Natural Flavors” such as vanilla, strawberry and raspberry. I answered, “No” and proceeded to inquire about the subject. Little did I know (trust me, I wasn’t prepared for the answer) this would be the start of a new journey to totally change my eating habits. She told me the “Natural Flavor” of vanilla and the like were actually something from a beaver’s anal glands (that’s right, the animal). We finished up our conversation and then I left. When I got back in the car, I asked my husband if he had EVER heard of such a thing—to which he replied, “No.” Surely my friend was mistaken ... right? I immediately googled the topic. Then I checked with Snopes. I was so shocked and disgusted, it was hard to focus on anything else. I then posted it on my facebook page because that’s what everyone does, right? I also came to the realization I was drinking “beaver butt” as we affectionately called it every day in my coffee. Bleh! No more beaver butt for us.

As a result of my “Natural Flavors” posts, my sister, who is much more a foodcentric person started sending me info on other food-related topics. For some reason, I also had other friends send me info/links. It’s as if they all came out of hiding. One of these was a short clip about GMOs. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I had heard of this but had no clue what it really was. Also rBGH came up as part of this discussion. It was like the perfect storm of knowledge. Up to this point, I was always under the belief that the term “organic” was just some frou-frou way to charge extra money and was some hippie-dippie lifestyle. Not me at all. I like technology and conveniences. I never bought into the whole world of “organic” and Whole Foods seemed like the ultimate hippie-dippie place. This is the video that put it all into perspective.

The information was presented in simple terms. Once I understood what Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs) were and why Genetically Engineered foods were not good, my mind started racing. Why were there so many more food allergies? What about the increase in autism rates and behavioral issues—could all of these be linked to our food source? Remember me mentioning my OCD—well, I started going through the food in our pantry and refrigerator. I was absolutely floored. The more research I did, the more incensed I became. I felt cheated. Lied to by our government and food companies. It ALL had to go, and out it went. Whole Foods became my home away from home.

My quest for knowledge led me to seek out facebook pages and blogs, you might even call them food activists. Well, let me say—they were a bit too radical for me. I have since pared down who I follow and what info is relevant to me. Thankfully my husband told me he was on board as long as it was still real food. No chia seeds or juicing for him. We tossed out all of our GMO products and restocked with new non-GMO brands. I would not recommend going to this extreme as it is costly. If you can afford to do this, then great. If not, then just replace as you use up your items. Do I feel any different since making the shift to non-GMO foods? Not really. But in my head, I feel better. I am going through great strides to try and educate our 6 yr old son to making better food choices. And now the term “organic” is part of our lifestyle. We began a garden (in containers of course)...

 

We also joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) and try to buy from local farms/fruit stands. It has been an amazing transformation and we continue to learn. We even started a facebook page to share news, recipes and food-related things. It’s been a fun journey!

Traveling with Young Children

Life is good: I earned a new "mama badge of honor"!

A few days ago, I did something I have never done before...I drove 10 hours from Minneapolis to Kansas WITH both children and withOUT my husband, who needed to stay home and hold down the fort. This earned a new mama badge of honor for me, for sure!

The drive is pretty simple and my kids are pretty good. (Oh no. Did I just jinx myself?) I wasn't too trepidatious about the trip. But I knew I would be happy when it was done!

One of the treats of going to see my parents is that I also get to see some dear friends. I had lunch with one cherished friend and she asked, "What do you DO for 10 hours!?!" I laughed. It just doesn't seem that long. The time really flies.  There is a lot of talking. A. lot. of. talking. These kiddos inherited more than my blue eyes and upturned nose. They got my motormouth and gift for gab. Quiet moments are a rarity. On a car trip and in general. We talk about things we've done and things we'll do, what we see on the road and the side of the road. And keep in mind, I am spending ten hours with two of my favorite people in the entire world. Two, albeit small, people whose every thought and word I devour with joy and excitement. And we accomplish quite a bit. We answer life's great mysteries like what color you get when you mix a primary color with a secondary color like blue and purple or what Michael Jordan likes to eat for breakfast. On this particular drive, we talked a lot about assassinations of presidents. I'd like to publicly thank my husband for introducing that subject to our 5-year old during a nightly round of presidential trivia. That made for an interesting car ride. Can you read my sarcasm?

I also have some key items that I take on road trips (and a different list for airplane rides) that have proven to make our car rides easy. Every kid is different, but these things work for our family.

1. Music: This includes favorite CDs as well as new, downloaded music. Both of my kiddos love love love (did I say love?) music and so they will listen intently to new stuff to learn the words and music. I also bring along quieter music when I sense we need some "zen moments". I believe that atmosphere can affect moods (at home, too). If the natives start stirring, I pop in some Enya or Coldplay. I also bring along "kid music" for emergencies. ; ) My kid music is from our Music Together music class, so it really isn't that bad. (Love their music philosophy!)

2. Coloring books, coloring sheets, crayons, stickers, sticker books, plain paper, notebooks, dot to dots, etc. The stickers do a great job of occupying both kids. I encourage the big kid to create a backdrop for his stickers, so that takes more time and the little one takes a lot of time just working on the fine motor skills aspect. Please not that I DO NOT bring markers! Markers can write on leather seats and faces. Not that my sweet angels would ever get those ideas. NO MARKERS!

3. Books, books, and more books. Plus new books. I pack the books away a week or two before a trip and that way, they seem "new" again. I pick out a couple of new ones, too. I take books that have lots of illustrations or images to stare at and wonder about. Busytown and ISpy books are great for that.

4. Small, handheld puzzles and games. Recently for our plane trip to Florida, I bought a Rubic's Cube for the big kid (talk about keeping a kid busy!) and a Tangle Toy for the wee one. 

5. Snacks! And I don't mean everyday snacks. I mean stuff that I rarely let them have like Cheezits or fruit snacks. Plus, I bring along string cheese and yogurt tubes in a hot/cold bag.

6. Little toys. Eespecially favorite "guys". This might include Playmobil or Imaginext figures or Pez dispensers (they don't get the candy and they don't care) that have been "missing" (hidden away by me a few weeks prior). I also bring along Hot Wheels cars and Schleich animals. A lot of pretend play goes on in the backseat and I love to hear the stories or listen to the little one make animal sounds.

7. Recently, I made a "sewing kit" for the big kid to take on our road trip to Mt. Rushmore (more about that later). I bought a plastic hoop, some cotton fabric, embroidery thread, and plastic needle from Joann. Then I cut the fabric into hoop-sized squares and drew pictures on the fabric (dinosaurs, robots, a lion, etc.) with an ink pen.

After the fabric was in the hoop, I took the needle and poked holes every so often along the outline of the picture to make a sort of "dot to dot" with thread and fabric.

The big kid loved it! It was a great fine motor skills activity and he just plain had fun with it!

I think it is important to teach boys things like cooking and sewing (things often associated with females) and try to put gender stereotypes in the past where they belong!

8. I also bring the Ipad (with apps, not movies), though I always keep it hidden. My just-about-to-be-two-year-old (gasp! where has the time gone?) is not allowed to watch TV at all and my five-year old watches TV only sparingly (I know, gasp!), so I try very hard not to give the Ipad to the big kid. This doesn't mean that I won't need to on the way back to MN, but it will be my last resort. It's just something we have committed to. And I know that once we watch a movie or movies on car rides, I have set a precedent and can't turn back, so I remain resolved. For now.

I also discussed my expectations for our trip with my children once a day for a few days before our trip. I told them that I needed them to be my helpers. I explained that distracted driving is dangerous. I discussed the drive with our big kid and asked for him to be a good example for the littlest one. Growing up, my parents always talked to me like I was a person, not a kid and we have chosen to do the same with our children. So having a talk about the car trip and my expectations was very natural and helpful. (And in general, I think it creates an environment of respect and understanding of individual responsibility in a family.)

So I want to give a big shout out and three cheers to my dear children who made the 10-hour drive enjoyable, peaceful (except for rocking out to The Clash), and non-eventful (except for all of the memory-making). I share my new "mama milestone" trophy with you!