Parenting with Gratitude

Life is Good: when you recognize your gifts

Here's a silly idea. Repost week! (If I can remember) I will publish my most read posts this week. Let me know what you think!

Reposted from January 13, 2014
I try to keep my eyes and ears open all of the time. I feel there is so much that I can learn--about parenting and life--from others. But the best parenting advice I ever received wasn't even told to me as advice.

As many of you know or have read on this blog, my older sister passed away when I was a little girl. My parents were always open to talking about her and I so very appreciate that. They did their very best to keep our life and our family as "normal" as possible after her death. When I think about it, I am absolutely amazed that they kept their marriage in tact through their grief. And I am so grateful for that. It is crippling to imagine what it feels like for a parent to have their child pass away.

When I was about 27 or 28 or even 29 (so a couple of years ago...ha!), I went to visit my parents. One night, my mom and I sat on the couch and she rubbed my feet for me. Yes, this is just one reason why she is the greatest mama ever! We began to talk about my sister. My guess is that we probably were talking about her spunk or her mischievousness. She was sassy! ; ) Then, we began to talk about her death. And our faith. And I asked my mom how ever was she able to make it through that? I wasn't yet a parent and I still couldn't imagine how she didn't throw herself out of a window or tear all of her hair out or need a padded room. It was unimaginable. And what she said to me was equally mind-blowing.

She said, "I had to keep it together for you and your brother. I owed it to you both. And I clung on to the fact that she was God's child first. She was His. And He had shared her with me. With us. I had to be grateful for the time we were allowed together." She explained that she didn't think it was in God's plan for her to die, but that when she became ill, God showed mercy on her and our family and took her pain away. She had to accept that she had gone Home. She clung to her faith, which sustained her.

I am not a person who is often at a loss for words, but this left me speechless.

When I returned from my trip, I remember telling Grant what she had said. He was equally impacted. We both spoke of our admiration for my mom's strength and faith. We made a pact, then and there, that if we were blessed with children, that we would always remember my mom's words. That this is how we would parent. These would be the words that would guide us as a family.

And so this is how I start each day. I remember that these children are a gift. They are a gift shared with us. They are sent from heaven on loan. And that they are God's children first. When I remember this, I remember that they are people, not objects. That they are treasures. Gems more valuable than jewels. And when I remember this, I don't try to control them or use conditions for love. When I remember this, I accept them for who they are and not who I think they should be. When I remember this, I feel grateful for each teeny tiny little spec of a moment with them---even the sleep deprived ones, even the trying ones, every single one.

No, we're not perfect. Oh, let me say that again. No, we. are. not. perfect! Yes, we have an occasional bad moment and even fewer rough days, but I believe that because we start from the right place, from the place of intention and gratitude, those valleys are less often and the peaks more predominant.

I believe we have darkness to appreciate the light and getting through rough times makes us appreciate the good ones. And I always try to find a lesson in a challenge so that something positive comes out of it all. My sister's life and death have taught me a lot. And I am still learning from her. And I am still learning from my parents, too. 

"Thank you" seems so insignificant, but it is true. Thank you, mom and dad. From the deepest part of my heart. Thank you for the words of faith and love and strength that guide me as a mother and guide us as a family. And thank you, heavenly father, for the gift of these children, these precious little people, whom you have entrusted with us. Guide us, keep us, protect us so that we might have all the time we want together.

                                                                From Jalipeno on Etsy

Parenting Advice

Life is Good: we have words of wisdom

I'm a sucker for a good quote. Ever since I can remember, I have always found such inspiration in the wise words of others. I love this quote. As I read it, I felt it was speaking to me as a person, but by the end, I felt it was speaking to me as a parent. 

Cinnamon Roll Pancakes with No Eggs

Life is Good: we're making special breakfasts together!

Oh, my. 

SO much has been going on around here. It's hard to believe that Fall is upon us when it feels like summer was just a blink away from today.

Back to school has been wonderful for the big kids at our house. They wake up happily and skip off to school. They come home with smiles on their faces and stories about the day's fun. My biggest complaint is that they don't eat their lunches. The Big Kid looks at me with big eyes and a smirk, "But, mommy, I have lots of talking to do at lunchtime!" The Little Kid's reasoning is similar--"I didn't eat all of my lunch because I was showing (classmate's name) a magic trick!"

While he has enjoyed full reign of their bedrooms & their toys while they aren't home, our Littlest One has really been been missing his brothers. And frankly, I have, too.

But we had a blast this summer. "It was full, but not busy," I say when people ask. We had tons of fun, went lots of places, vacationed, enjoyed a couple of camps, played with tons of friends, ran through the sprinkler no less than fourteen thousand times, swam & swam & swam & swam, but all at a very enjoyable pace. I declared it a 1980s summer the day ours began. I wanted it to be innocent and low-tech like that of my childhood---lots of imagination and feel good-ness and...no screens! And besides watching The Twins play and some episodes of Chopped Junior here and there plus the Peanuts movie (I think?), it was screen-free for the kiddos and that was just fine with them!

One thing that we did a lot of this summer was cook and bake. We adjusted my eggless pancake recipe to create Cinnamon Roll Pancakes. And let me tell you that, accompanied by the glaze, these pancakes smell and taste like cinnamon rolls! Oh. My. Gosh. They are good! I've had to go gluten free in response to some postpartum physical health issues that just haven't quite gone away but the one pancake I allowed myself was worth the inflammation! (Well, maybe not? It's hard to say!) (Next up...gluten free pancakes?)

Here is our recipe:

Susie's Eggless Cinnamon Roll Pancakes
(adapted from this recipe)
Ingredients:
3 cups all-purpose flour, sifted (you don't have to, but it makes them fluffier)
7 teaspoons baking powder, divided
1 1/2 teaspoons salt (I like Pink Himalayan)
2 Tablespoons sugar
2 1/2 cups milk (I use organic whole)
6 Tablespoons butter, melted
1/4 cup (heaping over) applesauce (I use organic, no sugar added)
1 Tablespoon vanilla (I prefer Madagascar)
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions:
1. In a small bowl, mix 1 teaspoon of baking powder into the applesauce and set aside. This will mimic 2 beaten eggs in the recipe.
2. In a large bowl, sift together flour (or at least distribute evenly), SIX teaspoons of baking powder, salt, and sugar. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients.
3. Pour milk, vanilla, and melted butter into dry ingredients and mix well.
4. Add applesauce mixture and mix well.
5. Oil (or butter) a griddle or fry pan. When heated, use a Tablespoon to measure out your pancakes. These are fluffy pancakes, so they need a lower heat and longer on the griddle to cook all the way through. Use the first couple of pancakes to experiment how long it takes on each side to cook all the way through without scorching the outside of the pancake. For me, it takes a couple of minutes on each side with a medium heat on my gas stove.
6. Serve with my simple glaze and enjoy!

Susie's Simple Pancake Glaze:
1. Pour 1 1/2 cups powdered (confectioner's) sugar into a small mixing bowl.
2. Add 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla (I like Madagascar)
3. Add 1/8 cup of water
4. Mix well until there are no lumps
5. If you still have some dry parts, add another 1/8 cup of water and mix well
6. Look at the glaze, taste the glaze. If you want something the consistency of syrup, keep the glaze as is. If you want a thicker glaze, add another 1/4 cup of powdered sugar
7. Using a whisk, pastry brush, or fork, drizzle over your pancakes

NOTES:
This recipe makes between 24-30 half dollar-sized pancakes. It depends on what you use to measure out your pancakes.
IMPORTANT: if you have small children, I would decrease the cinnamon amount to 1/2 teaspoon. Cinnamon can be "spicy" to small children and they might not enjoy this full-throttle. You might not either! My 8-year old said we should INCREASE the cinnamon. Herbs and spices are really a matter of taste (pun intended!) so adjust this to your own palette's preference. 

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How to take great photos of kids

Life is Good: six kids looked at the camera and smiled!

This happened! 

Six kids, all looking at the camera and smiling! 

For real! They all stood still. They all looked forward. They all seemed happy. 

How? No idea! 

But I can tell you that, as it happened, Mariah Carey appeared on stage left and began to sing, "There can be miracles...when you believe." Followed by an angel choir singing the "Hallelujah Chorus".  The sun shown brighter, unicorns pranced by, and glitter sprinkled down, ever so gently, from white, fluffy clouds while leprechauns tossed golden coins in the air. Both moms sprouted jeweled crowns and super hero capes and had a perfectly-lit glow about them.

Okay, not really. But it should have happened this way. 

People, this just doesn't happen at our house! 

IF I can get the older two to look at the camera at the same time, the Littlest One has run off out of camera shot. 

Or he's looking at the other two. 

Add three other kids, and, typically, mayhem ensues. 

But not on this day. 

And for that, it deserves this little, celebratory rant! 

Success! ; )

How to make easy finger puppets

Life is Good: my kids love crafts 

Well, we decided to head to the playground yesterday morning at 9 AM. But somehow, we made finger puppets instead!

While we were waiting for SOMEONE, some SLOW TO START-it's the end of the summer and he's finally slow in the mornings just in time for school to start-SOMEONE to finish their breakfast, I suggested we make some *quick* finger puppets. I traced circles onto cardstock and got out the scissors. (I'm always looking for an opportunity for our 5-year old to work on his cutting skills.)

I made a few, but the Little Kid wanted to do his own thing. (Per the usual!) And then, the Big Kid decided it looked like fun.

They made bears and turtles and aliens...oh my! And then they FINALLY changed out of their jammies and we were off to the playground...2 1/2 hours later!

Three Days in Boston with Kids

Life is Good: we're exploring!

We just got back from a wonderfully fun trip to Boston and Cape Ann in Massachusetts and Portland, Maine. We spent a couple of days in each place and it was one of the most diverse trips we've ever taken. Boston was urban (duh) and full of both history, facts/information, & sea life. Cape Ann was relaxed with gorgeous surroundings, beautiful sunsets, and diverse beaches. Portland, Maine had great lighthouses and super diverse beaches. And yes, we had lobster every place we went! : )

Prior to our trip, I pinned lots of articles to my Pinterest account about traveling with kids in New England. I wish I had been able to read everything. Instead, I skimmed. And honestly, most of the Boston articles said the same thing:

1. Walk the Freedom Trail

It's about 3 miles long, so you may or may not walk the whole way. We enjoyed doing this one morning. We started out early so that we could see as much as we wanted but not feel rushed. We saw lots of buildings and statues and people dressed in costumes to look like Paul Revere. Our kids (21 mths, 5, and 8) are not quite old enough to grasp the depth of the Freedom Trail, but they still enjoyed the hustle & bustle of the city. We saw where the first school took place. It was in a church and there were booths like what you would see in a restaurant where children must have studied. We talked about what it might have been like to be a child at that time as well as what it must have felt like to have a King tell you where you had to go to church or that you had to give him most of your money but that you couldn't weigh in on any decisions about where you lived (taxation without representation, don't you know!).

When we got home, we watched the Schoolhouse Rock video about what was going on in Boston way back when. 

2. Go to the New England Aquarium

This attraction was skipped on a lot of the articles that I skimmed. Or maybe I skipped it? ; ) My friend, Mekea, mentioned this to me, noting the four-floor fish tank in the middle of the building and I'm so glad that she did. It was something that a toddler, preschooler, AND an elementary-aged child could enjoy (plus their mama!). We saw a red octopus exhibit, sea lions playing, sea turtles swimming, hammerhead sharks, cuttlefish, and tons of other fish. We even found Dory! Or a fish that looked like her, at least. We pet stingrays for what, quite possibly, was an hour. We have a membership to the aquarium at the MOA, so I almost skipped this. I'm so glad I didn't.

3. Go on a Tour of Boston

Lots of articles suggested historical tours. And if our children were all in elementary school or older, we would have. We love that kind of stuff! And as it is, our 5- and 8-year olds enjoy learning about presidents and important people in history, but I just didn't think any of the tours I read about in pamphlets at our hotel could keep their interest. We chose to go on a DUCK tour and it was a great way to see the city as well as what surrounds the Charles River.

Our driver, excuse me, "Captain" was fun and informative. He even let our kids "drive" the DUCK while we were in the river!

The DUCK tour put our Littlest One to sleep, but don't take that as a bad review. It was nap time, after all. ; )

4. Check out Faneuil Hall

Part of the Freedom Trail, this is also a marketplace with cute shops, touristy shops, restaurants (our kids LOVED the quesadillas and chicken soft tacos at Zuma!) (Thanks for keeping them safe from good allergies!), and activities like ping pong as well as performance artists. One afternoon, we hung out and watched some ping pong action as a teenage boy and his dad set up the son's amp & guitar. Then, we listed to the boy sing "How to Save a Life". After he was done, both the Big Kid and the Little Kid walked over to him, spontaneously. The Big Kid told him, "Wow, you really play the guitar well." and the Little Kid said, "That was some really good singing you did!" The boy hung his head sheepishly as he thanked them. What I noticed more than the performance was his dad. His dad fretted around, almost sweating, setting up the amp and the mic and making sure everything was just right for his son. Then, when the son started to sing, the dad moved around to three different places, as if to make sure the sound was just so from all angles. Then, finally, he listened. And he grinned. And when the small crowd clapped for his son, he smiled the sweetest smile of pride & contentment. I wonder if people without children of their own would understand all of the emotions that dad was feeling? I got it. I understood. I wanted so much to go up to the dad and congratulate him. But I saw how he delighted in hearing my kids praise his son. And that was enough.

5. Enjoy the Boston Common

We could have spent a few days at this place! So gorgeous! We had a picnic here one evening (yes, there were lobster rolls involved) because it was just too pretty to leave. It is kind of amazing to think that all of that lush greenery and flowers with a sweet little pond is smack dab in the midst of such a cultured, booming, zooming city. We loved the little bridge and the Make Way for Duckings statues (have you read the book?)

The Big Kid & Little Kid had a lot of fun posing with the statues. As always, getting a great pic of all three of our kids together, since one is a wiggly toddler, was...challenging.

Sure, I could have shown you the cute pic, but this one was much funnier! Gotta keep it real! : )

We tried to ride in a swan boat a couple of times but they only run 10AM-5PM. Ugh. The marketing consultant in me thinks that they could sell a whole lot more tickets if they were open until 8 PM!

6. Go to the Children's Museum

We didn't do this, though almost every Boston with Kids article encourages it. We have a wonderful Children's Museum here in MN and we've been members in the past. We didn't want to spend our short vacation hours doing something that we could do (similarly) at home.

7. Go see Harvard, The Museum of Contemporary Art, The Science Museum, John Hancock Tower, John F. Kennedy Museum, Listen to music in the Boston Common on Friday afternoons

Harvard: another time, maybe when our kids are older, just not worth giving up part of our 72 hours this trip. 

Art Museum: would have been great if it were rainy outside, but we opted for outside adventures, Same goes for the Science Museum, though we do have an awesome Science Museum of Minnesota. Hancock Tower: we just didn't have enough time.

JFK: was something that sounded fun to our 8-year old but we will do it when all of our kids can enjoy it.
Boston Common at lunchtime: we just ended up being in different parts of the city at that time of day.

8. See the Boston Harbor/Navy Yard

We walked around this area at some point each day. We had a great picnic dinner (on a patio) one night, too. On the morning we were supposed to get our rental car and leave for Cape Ann, we checked the weather and discovered that it was going to be raining off & on all morning there. We had planned to go whale watching on the cape, so instead, we went to the harbor and boarded a boat to leave from Boston instead. It was cloudy and misted on us a little bit while we sailed to the whale sanctuary, but the weather was definitely better from that port. And the whales! Oh, my. We saw 10 or 12 (maybe more) sets of 5-8 whales at a time. They were very close to our boat. One set of three whales came right up to our boat and then swam under it and appeared on the other side of the boat to greet those watchers! It was really exciting for all of us. We saw Minke and Humpback whales. It was cool to be close enough to see the humps (large bumps) on the whales backs. We loved our tour with Boston Harbor Cruises, which is a partner with the New England Aquarium. The naturalists on the boat had lots of great info to share. The most fascinating detail to me was that every whale has a different pattern on the back side of its fin. And that makes them identifiable to the naturalists.

I wanted so much to get a "tail" photo. This was the best I could do while holding a very wiggly toddler (is that a book title?) in one arm.

At one point, it just wasn't safe for me to hold the wiggly toddler on the boat deck, so we went inside the boat with the Little Kid. We still had some great whale watching.

What we didn't get to do that we will put on our Boston to-do list for next time:

1. Check out the USS Constitution and museum. 

The ship was in dry dock for repairs when we were there. You can still see it out of the water, but we chose not to because of time. Boston is so rich in history and culture that you could spend a couple of weeks traveling as a tourist. We did have a picnic dinner at Boston Harbor and talked about the Boston Tea Party. Our 5-year old found that to be especially hilarious to think of a bunch of tea being dumped into the harbor. A big thanks to Legal Seafoods for being so careful preparing our children's meals and avoiding anything that would give them an allergic reaction. Our 8-year old declared that he only wanted "lobster for the entire trip" and somehow, we managed it!

2. Go to the Puppet Showplace puppet theater.

Our vacation to New England was a result of my husband having a presentation in Boston. Initially, I thought I would have a couple of days without him in Boston, so knowing that it might be a lot of tote three kids around an unusual place by myself, I planned a couple of "easier" experiences into our trip. But as it turned out, we were only without Grant for a half day. Yay for us! But because of it, we skipped the (super cool-sounding, puppets & marionettes made out of cardboard boxes, oh, how creative!) puppet show. Next time!

3. See the Mapparium

Ohmygosh! This looks soooooo coooool! But we simply ran out of time.

4. Take the Train

I really thought our kids would enjoy this! But each time it was time to ride the train, it was also close, okay let's be real, past bedtime and my husband (ugh, the voice of reason) convinced me that we should just take an Uber or a cab home. He was right (don't tell him that I said that!) but I do regret that we didn't do it once for kicks.

5. Check out the Frogpond at Boston Common 

We were all set to check out the spray pool at the Frogpond until our DUCK tour driver made a comment slash joke about all of the kids in the city peeing in the pool and the bacteria sample located in that one spot in Boston and I was out. I tried my best to tell myself that he was joking but the germaphobe in me just could not get over it! We did something else fun instead. : /

6. Go to a Boston Red Sox game at Fenway Park

The Red Sox weren't playing at home while we were there. We were all pretty bummed. Another reason to go back another summer!

7. Linger around Newbury Street and check out some local art.

We have a toddler. It just wasn't the right timing for that. We did that before and we will do it again. But not this trip.

8. Minuteman Park

Not many articles included Minuteman Park, but we will surely check it out next time!

9. Take a Water Taxi 

Three days just wasn't enough time for this great city! ; )

Here's another post about a "Hidden Boston". It's totally random. And totally fun! If you are spending a week in Boston with kids, check out this post for the top kid attractions and a discount on them.  

Jackson Pollock, Mondrian, and Lichtenstein art lessons for toddlers & preschoolers

Life is Good: we're making more art!

I have two cameras (plus my phone)--the one I use all of the time and my "back-up camera". I just downloaded pics from my back-up and found a bunch of pics from our modern art exploration a couple of summers ago! (Can you say "A mother of three has a to do list a mile long and this was at the bottom of the totem pole"?)

I can't wait to explore these art lessons again with my kids now. It will be fun to see what the Big Kid does with it all now that he is a little older.  And if the Little Kid's work is similar to the Big Kid's when he was his age. And of course, I love the idea of letting the Littlest One explore. He lovvvvvves a glue stick!

It seems like yesterday that the Big Kid was obsessed with Picasso. So I introduced Jackson Pollock to him because Pollock, like Picasso, was an art revolutionary. In fact, Pollock credited Picasso as an influence as did many other modern artists. Pollock went against what critics and buyers and what everyone else thought was "art" and made art that made him happy and feel fulfilled. I love using Picasso and Pollock as examples of being true to yourself. The notion feels less abstract (pardon the pun) when you are able to show beautiful, vibrant art pieces as the result. Pollock's art was much more intentional than the work shows to the pedestrian viewer.

So of course, if you are going to learn about Pollock, you have to THROW PAINT! We tried lots of styles of paint throwing. From different distances, with different sized brushes. Try throwing some art and you just might see why Pollock was having so much fun!

In the same vein as paint throwing, we also tried squirting paint using these plastic containers and these containers as well as "spraying" paint (1/3 water, 2/3 paint) in these containers.

It's been a while since I watched it, but I remember that the movie, "Pollock" was good. I think it was "sad and moving" good. Not "happily ever after/uplifting/funny" good at all. You can find it on Netflix.

In our quest to examine modern art, projects for a toddler and a preschooler inspired by Mondrian seemed like a home run. Mondrian used primary colored geometrics plus black and white to create what was a revolution in art. Here are some examples:

So we decided to make some Mondrian-inspired pieces, too. It is a simple exploration of shape and color. Just cut up pieces of red, blue, and yellow paper and some strips of black, get out a larger piece of white paper and some glue stick and start experimenting! In many ways, it is like putting a puzzle piece together. I have always intended to make a felt version of this, but alas, never took the time. It would be a great travel toy.

Here's what the big kid came up with...

And little brother decided to make his more abstract...

Another favorite modern artist of mine is Lichtenstein. He, too was influenced by the great artists like Picasso and Van Gogh. I showed my two little people photos of Van Gogh's "The Bedroom". We talked about the style and the colors and the subject matter. Then, I showed them Lichtenstein's "Bedroom at Arles". Again, we talked about style and color, but this time we also talked about the difference between the styles and why the artists might have made the choices they did. We talked about "being inspired by" something versus copying something. I, personally, am okay with letting older kids recreate art for the expanding of skills and technique. I try to encourage older children to be influenced or inspired, but to still do their own version. I do not feel good about having kids under 5 imitate someone else's work (famous artist, teacher, parent, etc) because I think it sends the wrong message about creativity and sets up an expectation for perfection. I believe this pursuit of perfection is responsible for unhealthy attitudes about art in adults and in children. In my opinion, if you keep your art projects (for adults or children) about experimentation, exploration, and the process, you will have happier, healthier art experiences. These art experiences will then (hopefully) set a foundation for confidence (in art and in lots of other realms) and creative problem solving in the future. Again, emphasis of PROCESS of art making and exploring not the PRODUCT that you end up with.

My little dudes really loved the Lichtenstein work. It is so cartoony and joyful, why wouldn't they? The Big Kid really wanted to make his own bedroom art piece, so we looked at each example and talked about what we liked best in each one. He preferred Lichtenstein's version, mostly due to the graphic quality (though it was articulated to me differently). He decided to make his own bedroom using markers.

 

And the Little Kid made his own masterpiece with markers, too.

I just love it! Do you see the big face? And the smaller person in orange? And the angel flying in the top corner? And the other one at the bottom? Do you see the wind turbines? The giraffe? What else do you see? Art is everywhere! You just have to keep your eyes open for it!

“I believe arts education in music, theater, dance, and the visual arts is one of the most creative ways we have to find the gold that is buried just beneath the surface. They (children) have an enthusiasm for life, a spark of creativity, and vivid imaginations that need training – training that prepares them to become confident young men and women.”

– Richard W. Riley, Former US Secretary of Education