Life is Good: even when we are hurting
It has been quite a long while since I've written anything on here. I have always wanted to use this website to document life for my kiddos but raising my kiddos has left me without much time to document it.
I'm hopping on here today to pay tribute to my dear friend, Heather, whom I lovingly called, "Pip". Heather passed away suddenly last week. Words can't describe the depth of my sadness. Life simply won't be the same without her. What I've written isn't as well-thought out or crafted as I would like. But honestly, I'm a bit of a mess right now and stringing words together, verbal or thought, is quite difficult. But I need to share just how very special my friend was.
If you pray, please send up some extra prayers for Heather's husband and two sons, who are also so very dear to me.
Heather has been my best friend since I was 15. She was a fun teenager. I mean, FUNNN! But the adult she became was magnificent.
Please understand: if you knew Heather, everything you thought about her is true---she was an amazing person. She was adventurous and enthusiastic, kind-hearted and helpful. She was strong of character and deep in thought. She was utterly sophisticated and totally down to earth. She wore Hermes scarves while snorting at “Wedding Crashers”. Ohmygosh. I teased her so often---she was such a conniseuer of books but her tv and movie choices were so cheesy! She was so smart and so strong and had such a goofy sense of humor. She often thought she was being funny when it really wasn’t funny but it was so hilarious to me that she thought she was being so, so funny! And all that really mattered is that we were laughing.
Heather was a great cook and had a strong faith. And she was happy. She, indeed, had so much happiness in her life. She had a smile a mile wide and her family was her biggest source of joy. She was such a great, invested, thoughtful, dedicated mother. And she was part of my family.
It’s a special thing for a friendship to last through so many years & life changes. We met as girls and bonded over big dreams & goals. We cheered for each other as we made big moves. We witnessed each other meet the men who would become our husbands, stood beside each other at our weddings, and regaled over our greatest joys and accomplishments—motherhood. And then there was the everyday—silly texts (oh, how she loved those iphone stickers!) and phone calls that always lasted longer than either of us planned or really had time for. We talked often and even if we had talked every day, the calls would have gone too long. There was always so much love present. And honesty. And so much laughter.
I’m so grateful that we told each other how we felt. I’m so glad for that last phone call. And that you can get back deleted voicemails on an iPhone.
If you’re lucky, you have several best friends in your life. If you’re lucky, your parents are your best friends. And your husband. And if you’re really lucky, your best girlfriends feel more like family than friends. And that was how I felt about Heather.
This is not a loss that I will get over. But I will get through it, I tell myself. I will hold on tightly to my faith. I will find comfort in my belief that my God is a loving, generous, forgiving, peace-granting God. Heather had an amazing squad of best friends who have accepted me on some kind of little sister status and I am so grateful for their consideration of me and our pact to preserve her memory, her happiness, her goodness. Staying connected with them makes me feel connected to her. And I will be comforted by that rich relationship Heather and I shared--full of memories, big and small, monumental and yes, sometimes ridiculous.
I have lost my best friend but Cal and William have lost their mother. So please, friends, please pray for their comfort and peace right now. And keep those prayers going.
These photos are from the last time we were together. It shows her wide grin, smiling eyes, and how much my children loved her. We spent a week together that trip and when she got home, I said, “We didn’t take a single photo together.” She said, “We will just have to take more the next time!” She was supposed to visit us in May, but it didn’t happen.
So take the photos and make the trip, friends. If you can’t make the trip, pick up the phone, text often, email, FaceTime & Skype. Kiss foreheads and hug tightly. Let it be and let go. Forgive, forget, say yes, say no, stop and look at the clouds. Be real, relax, eat the cake. Count your blessings and not the years. Call them smile lines and not wrinkles. Be grateful for each day and every chance and don’t put anything off. Say what you feel.
And if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Please pick up the phone to call, text, or email one somebody in your life who means the world to you and tell them just that.
And then please say another prayer for Jim and Cal and William.